Once I saw this production of Julius Caesar starring Ralph Fiennes. Despite my deep hatred for Fiennes’ face, I thought the production was pretty cool. I had never seen Shakespeare done so big live. It was put on in a giant theatre in London called the Barbican that held over 100 cast members on stage at once. I mean look at this:
They basically staged a political campaign/riot complete with security guards and press. It was kind of amazing. At the end of the play they staged a battle that was very Desert Storm that took place in the background of Brutus’ confrontation with Caesar’s ghost.
My point is that I think Julius Caesar was meant to be big. Huge. But writing for the Globe Theatre, it was obviously limited.

Globe Theatre, also in London.
I think, had Shakespeare lived a few hundred years later he might have written Julius Caesar for film. Unfortunately, theatre is a dying art – even in the 50s – and Shakespeare, we’ve been told, wrote for the masses. He’s so crude and funny, it seems logical he would be more of the Ruth Gordon type than the Harold Pinter type.
So I think Shakespeare would have been pretty happy with Mankiewicz’s version of Caesar. It is big big BIG. There is even an actual battle scene with hundreds of extras. When Mark Antony (Brando) delivers his masterful display of rhetorical trickery, it is to a giant, raging crowd. In a story about war heroes, attempting to do heroic things, this form of narrative just seems to make sense.

I love how action-packed this version of the play is because rather than absorb all of our attention into the bloody, action sequences, we’re actually less distracted for the character building scenes. When I’ve seen Caesar done in more intimate settings, my imagination starts to wander. I want to know what these battles between Brutus and Antony might have looked like, and the play doesn’t give me the time to think about that without missing most of the important monologues. It’s nice that the film is a good half hour longer than a straightforward production of the play would be. It gives me a chance to actually figure out how complex these characters really are.
and now I know that there is nothing cooler than a zombie fighting a shark.
I’m sorry. There is nothing intelligent to say in a situation like this.




1. Ju-on – I’m not a huge supporter of Japanese Horror lately, but this is, supposedly, one of the scarier examples. Obviously I’m going to want to stay away from the Sarah Michelle Gellar version. And maybe I’m wrong, but wasn’t this one of the first wet-haired-Asian-kids movies? I’m kind of excited to finally see it.
2. I Bury the Living – I’m so stoked to see this. A 1958 movie starring Richard Boone in a cemetery? Sign me up.
3. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 – This one’s supposed to be just chalk full of phallic imagery. And we all know how much I like yapping it up about phallic imagery. I’ve read so much about this and avoided it because of Dennis Hopper (that neo-nazi scares me), but now seems like the perfect time, surrounded by friends and family, to brave the horror.
1. Ravenous – a movie about cannibalism in Mexican-American War times. What more could you want? Did you know that if you eat humans, you get a little more powerful with every bite? Unfortunately, you also develop an insatiable hunger that can never be stifled by anything but more human flesh. Guy Pierce, that one
3. Bride of Frankenstein – So many more iconic images come from this sequel than the original Frankenstein. While I don’t think it’s the “better” film, like I’ve heard it said, I do think this is the funnier/funner film. “They warned me to beware my wedding night!”




I’ve seen my fair share of B-horror films. In fact, I might say there is nothing I like better than a good B-horror film. And Splinter was a pretty good one.
It also doesn’t fail on the thematic side of horror. Though she shares the spotlight, there is a clear and kickass final girl who has to take over everything popularly deemed “manly” as her boyfriend is a book-reading nerd. The nerd, of course, redeems some of his manliness at the end (while also using his brain!) and the two walk into the sunset as equals. Then there is the convict who, obviously, turns out to have a heart of gold, proving, once again, that things aren’t always as they seem.







