I want to use this blog about movies to rant a little bit about things that are kind of unrelated to movies, but kind of totally related because movies, if you think about it, are related to everything. So lets get this shit underway:
Lately I’ve been really disappointed by my tendency towards self-censorship. I’m sitting here eating canned beets, writing a semi-crazy anti-Mormon rant when I say to myself “this is the internet. People will read this,” and delete the whole thing. Sure, it was pretty offensive and I don’t want to make my dad cry, but it was also pretty funny and totally relevant. Because who cares that I’m eating beets? Aren’t you more interested in what I have to say about the ERA? I am!
Maybe self-censoring isn’t the problem. Maybe what you don’t say is far more interesting than what you can say, and maybe hurting peoples’ feelings just isn’t all that great. Maybe the problem is that I do it badly. Because Whitman self-censored all the time, but he still got to talk about blow jobs all he wanted (they were just hidden blow jobs!). But without all the potential literal imagery and swears, Whitman isn’t very funny.
I don’t expect Dear Jesus’s readers to be the biggest Kevin Smith fans, but you have to hand it to someone that can be so candid. Not only with his fans in Q&As and SmodCast, but in the films he’s willing to make. Can you imagine taking your mom to go see Dogma? It’s only a million times worse when you made the thing, I’m sure. There are cruder movies out there, but Smith’s films don’t pretend to be anything they aren’t. Sure, Chasing Amy’s on Criterion, but it wasn’t made with the intention of ever getting to that level of critical appeal. These movies are comedies, with poop jokes, and Smith is as honestly crude as he feels like being. I think that openness of purpose is nice. Maybe I could make something that looked as good as Clerks, but I could never be that open with it, and I respect the View Askew people for that attitude.
Marrying someone that recently left the Mormon church puts me in an interesting position. On the one hand, I have to be the mediator that calms him down when he’s screaming “burn the temple!!!” on Main Street. On the other hand, he gets me thinking about all this stuff again and it makes me angrier and angrier. And all I want to do is be candid about it with people that matter to me. Never going to happen. Not even on a blog that I’m pretty sure is safe territory as far as my immediate family is concerned. And that makes me sad…or angrier. I don’t know.