the bottom of the ocean: where things can’t see or be seen

remember the past?  i do.  sometimes.  misremember, that is.   specifically, i (mis)remember that i use to watch a lot more movies than i currently do.  there was this one winter, maybe two years ago, where i was watching 7(0) to 10(0) movies a week.  it was winter.  i didnt want to leave the house.  or even move away from my space heater.  so i watched movie after movie.

that january i made a new years resolution: keep a log of all the movies i watch.  the resolution lasted a month and a half.

during a week and a half period, i watched a bunch of jon waters movies (in reverse chronological order — i wanted to work my way backwards to pink flamingos; a kind of inverted trajectory of shock from all the tongue-kissing in cry-baby to the incestual blow-jobs and dog-shit eating in pink flamingos) and all the preston sturges movies.  because i was watching so many movies (and often watching movies back to back to back), i lost the ability to tell when one movie started and the other began and now see waters as a kind of perverse continuation of sturges screw-ball comedies.

the last movie i watched and recorded on my new-years-resolution-movie-watching-note-card was inland empire — the best movie i’ve ever seen (with the passion of joan of arc being a close second).  after that, a movie-watching-note-card seemed pointless.

the preceding paragraphs are another way of saying that i haven’t been watching many movies lately so i dont have any recently seen movies to write about.  i have, however, been watching a lot of tv.  specifically, i’ve been watching the nba playoffs, fox news and jeopardy.

in my opinion, the 80s were the best decade for (american) movies.  and the best part about 80s movies is how tv becomes the star like in videodrome or ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous stains.

but if there is a movie from the 80s that foresaw the future of tv (specifically, cable news) it was robocop.  but the converse may be true: if there is a movie from the 80s that foxnews most patterns itself after, it’s robocop.  or, since time only appears linear, maybe they’re actually the same.  except robocop is funnier.  but just barely.  mostly because the commercials in robocop are funnier.

note: this isn’t a dis on robocop.  robocop is fantastic in a million ways.  i’m also not saying that foxnews is fantastic.  i mean, i am but with qualifiers to fantastic.  obviously foxnews has nothing to do with news or journalism in any traditional sense.  like the newscasts in robocop, foxnews is a tv pretending to be news but without the pretensions of cnn.  it’s like a patishce or double parody of a news show.  i would go as far as saying that while the colbert show started off as a parody of the o’reilly show, the oreilly show has now become a parody of the colbert show making it a double-parody of itself.  this all makes for some very surreal and confusing tv watching.

also: sean hannity will pull out a nerf football once per show, usually when making some point about how torture is not only necessary, but possibly commendable.

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