300 is an A-Plus, World-Class, Totally-Amazing Film

Of all the graphic novel adaptations to date, 300 is the most poetic and subtle.

300 poster

Weighing in at a deserved $210,592,590 gross, 300 has kept delightful teenage fan boys entertained for hours. And with so much of the movie in slow motion, that’s pretty awesome.

Here are some things I love about 300:

5. Just about as right-wing as I like it. Just about. It would have been way better if they could have made those bad guys look just a little more Arabic. Some people just don’t quite catch that Persians are pretty much the same thing as Iraqis.

300 film persian

But at least they give each other back rubs. That’s cute.

4. That female character is so complex and well-developed. Like, she totally prostitutes herself to help her husband’s doomed war. I bet George wishes Laura would go to bat for him like that.

300 poster

3. Aforementioned slow motion. I think it is approximately 85% of the film that is shot in slow motion. Play the whole thing at a regular speed, and remove all the shots we see from 23 angles, and 300 is actually 18.4 minutes long.

2. Muscles!!! I don’t even care at all that their stomachs are defined through makeup, those bods is hawt.

1. Fake British accents. How delightful. There’s nothing I love more.

I also really appreciate the fact that they cover up all those nasty parts we see way too much of in the graphic novel version of the narrative (peni. sick.) but we still get to see a lot of the hot parts (titties!).

300 film

Hey everybody, join in on the Bizarro Blog-A-Thon fun over at lazyeyetheatre.blogspot.com.

Advertisements

4 Comments

Filed under Whitney

4 responses to “300 is an A-Plus, World-Class, Totally-Amazing Film

  1. 300 is my favorite short film. That poster is wrong, I did enjoy this. I enjoyed it more than it’s 1980s Family Comedy Spinoff, 300 Men and a Little Lady.

    Also, the main guy looks so much like Mel Gibson in that backrub picture.

    Yul Brenner giving Mel Gibson a backrub, that’s what I want from my action films!

  2. 300 has kept delightful teenage fan boys entertained for hours. And with so much of the movie in slow motion, that’s pretty awesome.

    That pretty much says it all.

  3. Dear Jesus! What an awesomely positive review. Makes me wanna run right out and see this amazing piece of left-wing propaganda!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s