Show Us Your Pee-Pee!

Forgetting Sarah Marshall has sparked recent debates about full frontal male nudity in film. Why haven’t we seen more of it? Should we ever see it? Why does it have to be Jason Segel’s penis, isn’t Paul Rudd in that movie??

phallic

As for myself, I am a huge proponent of full frontal male shots. I am in the “More Penis More of the Time!” camp. Whoever, where ever, whenever, penis shots need to play a catch up game with female crotch shots. If we’re going to allow a supposedly free speech, equal society show us nudity in R-rated films, better make it male and female, no matter how grotesque balls are! Yeah!

So here is my top five list of films featuring male full-frontal nudity. These films represent the best use of nudity in the best narrative films. To qualify for the the list the male must be alive and active, and the film cannot be a documentary.

1. Sideways – Alexander Payne tends to use nudity to its full, hilarious, potential. Following up on Kathy Bates’s nude hot tub scene in About Schmidt, here we see some fat dude running down the street naked and pressing his genitals against a car window. And who doesn’t want to see a smooshed wiener? Sort of calls attention to that scene in Cool Hand Luke where the woman washes her car in front of the inmates, breasts flattened and wet against the glass, doesn’t it?

Phallus

2. The Pillow Book – Infamous for baring it all – my boyfriend, Scott said “I’ve seen his penis more times than I’ve seen my own” – Ewan McGregor has numerous, drawn out, quiet, naked scenes in this film, as do a vast number of other individuals. Nude bodies covered in primarily Chinese and Japanese characters become more beautiful as objects (representations of books) than they ever were as actual bodies. In fact, genitalia are actually made into art in this film when they are drawn on and used as part of the overall canvas. I haven’t seen Greenaway’s other films, but I have heard that he often treats nudity carefully and responsibly, as he certainly does in this film.

3. The Piano – Finally! A female perspective, right? This seems to be a common cry among fans of Jane Campion, a woman who negotiates her own, unique way of manipulating both the male and female body. Here Harvey Kietel, no stranger to droppin’ his trousers on camera, is the object of the gaze, giving females a little break for once. No one can explain it, but suddenly the elderly gentleman is rugged and sexy. (Compare this, now, to his performance in Taxi Driver…) What I like about this film is that the nudity is carefully selected and theoretical, meant to be a feminist statement rather than an aesthetic decision. I haven’t seen In the Cut, yet, but I hear similar things go on with Mark Ruffalo.

phallic

4. The Fisher King – This film isn’t the greatest example of Terry Gilliam’s work, or Jeff Bridges, but, to me, it is the best performance Robin Williams has ever given. He’s just crazy enough that you remember he’s Robin Williams, but not crazy enough that you want to rip those nylons off him and shove them down his old-lady-British-accented throat. Plus, he runs around naked as the day he was born. (“He necked!” as my grandmother said when we were watching this film) The nudity here is vulnerable and sensitive. All we get are brief glimpses, but we don’t want any exploitation of this man’s vulnerable state. As it is filmed in darkness and with quick cuts, we get a sense of his insanity, while still recognizing the moment for what it is: a nice romp between friends.

5. The Simpsons Movie – Again, not a great movie, but … wow! What a great use of male nudity! The scene with a briefly naked Bart mocks the ever elusive screen penis in the best ways. I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed so hard…except maybe I did when I was watching Jackass 2…

phallic

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18 Comments

Filed under Top Five Lists, Whitney

18 responses to “Show Us Your Pee-Pee!

  1. What about Sarabande? Two old, wrinkly, lumpy swedes? surprisingly moving, for all that droopiness…

  2. hey, awesome blog! and i agree: more male frontal nudity!

    my fave: the dreamers, with michael pitt. plenty of full frontal nudity from both male and female, but michael pitt is especially luscious, as is the female character (can’t remember her name). it’s a bit of an obscure film, very french, quite lovely, and highly recommended if you like that sort of thing (including penises, and incest).

    (i love the picture of cock rock above from sedona, az. i grew up in az and always thought that was one of the state’s best features.)

  3. It’s called cock rock??? That’s amazing! I just google searched for “phallic” and found some of the most amazing pictures. I’ll definitely look into The Dreamers, which I haven’t seen.

  4. I haven’t seen Sarabande, yet, either. I’m actually way behind on Bergman in general.

  5. I have seen his penis more times than I have my own. It’s ridiculous. Velvet Goldmine. The Pillow Book. Trainspotting. Finding Nemo: The Ultimate Director’s Cut. Too much of Ewan’s McGregor. I plan on doing a guest post about Kathy’s Bates very soon.

    Scott – http://www.he-shot-cyrus.blogspot.com

  6. zeynep

    Check out Fox and His Friends by Fassbinder! Well, maybe a lot more others in his filmography…

  7. AeC

    Come now, no love for Monty Python’s Life of Brian, the film that nearly got the troupe killed after dozens/scores/hundreds of female Muslim extras unexpectedly got a full-on look at Graham’s Little Chapman?

  8. heather

    I like this blog more than I like penises.

  9. You must like it a LOT then.

  10. brian

    i’m still sticking with the quiet earth.

    penises in movies are up their with looking directly at the camera, as far as things i like in movies.

    i’m hoping to put some male full frontal nudity in one of our movies, but i realize that the penis would have to be mine. no way i can talk matt into that.

  11. brian

    and where do these related post come from?

  12. Oh yeah! I forgot about Quiet Earth. I loved that nudity because I saw it at BYU.

    Really? Matt wouldn’t do it? I mean, I can understand it (I wouldn’t either) but it seems like he is one to be up for most anything.

    I have no idea where the related posts come from. I just hope we are linked on their pages, to make it worth it. Especially if we’re advertising for something called “dirty sanchez: the movie.”

  13. brian

    it was difficult enough talking matt into his semi-nude scene in that starring matt movie we made last fall.

  14. brian

    oh yeah, and i forgot about pink flamingos. i dont know if i like that movie but there are a lot of penises including a hermaphrodite’s penis. dont get me wrong, i think john waters is incredible, i just dont find pink flamingos that funny. especially when you compare it to female trouble or polyester.

  15. brian, you need to work your way up to it man. first take your shirt off. then your pants…..then your underwear….leave your socks on (if you want)…get the camera nice and close…..and then….show it..show…your…..show….your….SELF.

    p.s. i love boobs pressed against car windows.

  16. i think i crossed the line with that last one.

  17. watch more euro movies….

    more americans need to get their swingers out, but it’s hardly the best looking part of the body unless it’s, well, that’s a whole different brand of movie…even then it’;s still not the best, well, depends on your pov

    I have some pics of them dressed up on my fotki site, so come have a look

    but, more nekkidness, less killing, really, what is wrong with that argument.

    also, google “burning man” for some flapping in the breeze shots, I ‘d love to go there someday!

  18. Great post, Whitney. And great stills too.

    I’m trying to think of other examples of full-frontal male nudity in the movies: Greenaway’s “The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover”; Philip Haas’s “Angels and Insects”; Viggo Mortensen in “Eastern Promises”; Vincent Gallo in “Brown Bunny”…

    I’m not a big fan of theses shots/scenes myself but I fully support your rationale for their greater inclusion in movies!

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