I like to measure the success of my relationships on the amount of monetary gain. Sure there are other factors (knowledge gained, support given, companionship, etc.) but, residing in a capitalistic society – and loving it! – I feel like money is what counts. Let’s recap:
Travis – Though the CDs he gave me were all burned, burners were still new at the time and I didn’t have access to high-speed internet. The Anniversary, AFI, Alkaline Trio…and those are just the A’s! Plus, I still have his MxPx hoodie, which has stood the test of time. And let’s not forget that horrible cash disaster that was Jr. Prom. Travis was definitely a win.
Mike – For the four years that I knew Mike, he only had a car for two months. Unlike the Travis situation, my parents weren’t paying for gas anymore, so Mike was definitely a loss. I believe he bought me a burrito once, and he gave me Fight Club as a gift. Doesn’t nearly cover the cost of driving his ass around town. And he wouldn’t take me to prom, even when I asked. Twice.
Dave – As far as month-long relationships go, this was a good one. Nice meals (plus, he didn’t ever want his leftovers), books and movies that I “borrowed”/”stole”, and X-Files season three for my birthday. Win.
God, I think we need some time apart. We’ve had a good run. There have been some ups and downs. But lately I just feel like it isn’t working out. You never really seem to be there when I need you. And I’m not saying that’s all your fault. You know I haven’t been that great at articulating my feelings, and I usually just expect you to read my mind. I’m not saying this is a permanent thing, I just think we both need some time to figure out what it is we really want and then we need to find better ways at making those wants clear. Until then, let’s drop these pretenses.
So as far as You and I go? I’ve been doing some calculations…on a tithing:refreshments ratio, I’m definitely winning. Thirty dollars for a week-long trip to summer camp isn’t too bad, either. Never mind the fact that those weeks were the closest I hope I ever get to Hell, or the fact that time is money. If we’re talking literal monetary gain…I totally win.
So, thanks a lot God. We’ll keep in touch. I promise.
No “Amen” because I’m afraid of blasphemy.