Prayers Are Supposed to be Self-Centered Right?

Alright, God. Here are some questions for you:

1. Why didn’t I get into grad school? I’m kickass, your daughter, a princess, on my way to Godess-hood, etc. This better be some sort of sign. Something amazing that will completely change my life better happen in Salt Lake this next year, or I’m axing my belief in you. Yep, that’s an ultimatum. (or you could maybe swing things my way with Wales, SFSU, and Ohio? yeah?)
2. Is the universe actually a black hole? Can we escape to parallel universes? Are you hanging out in the 7th dimension or something? If there are superpartners for particles do I also have a superpartner? And did this superpartner also get rejected from Iowa? In other words, sup with the universe?
3. Why wasn’t I a physics major? This one time I felt like going into film was sort of inspired, but maybe that inspiration was just some kind of comfort in going into something easy. If I were a physics major I would be rolling in the acceptance letters, seeing as I am a daughter and a princess. They love the ladies in science.
4. I’m a babe. Get me friend with benefits, please. Someone overseas, if you could pull that off.
5. That last one wasn’t really a question. More of a demand, really.

Amen.

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