Home Teacher, You Crazy

The home teacher came over today. I wanted to try and be like Jesus – or whatever – and invite people with sincere intent into my home, listen to them with an open heart and what not, and maybe have a decent discussion. But when he started crying (supposedly because of spiritual feelings, but really I think he was just kind of scared) I decided that I would just let him continue to talk himself into a corner and quietly judge him.

I do that. You know I do that. Probably my greatest sin, or at least my greatest cause of guilt. Especially since I’m not in the best position to have any say about anything. Anyway, this kid was so nice. He was one of those return missionary types who think they have been through a lot of trials because once they thought coffee smelled nice. It seems like they’re so sincere that they couldn’t possibily understand what it means to doubt something as basic as your existence. And that’s not to say that he’s simple-minded or has blind faith or any of those other negatives that I tend to automatically think about religious people. Yes, the LDS church is true for him. But can’t it be true for him and untrue for me? Relatively speaking, right?

So his wife brought cookies over, and he offered to carry my TV to the shop (an offer I will take him up on, unfortunately for him.) It was all really great for the first 15 minutes or so, but after an hour and 15 minutes of cliche and logical fallacy, I had a hard time stomaching him. And, like I said, the tears sort of prevented me from contradictions. As nice as he was, he made some huge mistakes. First, he compared me to Joseph Smith, which cracked me up. Like you’ll be visiting this cynical brat any time soon (and let’s hope to shit you don’t, because I don’t want no run-ins with that crazy adversary), my thoughts on the matter are far too convoluted and impure. But he kept insisting that my spiritual obsession was going to lead me to the truth. What about a little dude named Kafka? He was a crazy ass and check his fate out. The comparison got me off track, it got me thinking about how silly it is that religious people can find ways to compare themselves to Jesus in any way.

Another mistake he made…and this is probably just nit-picky…was his reference to Abraham’s faith. People always point to stories in the Bible to prove the Bible’s true, and then they completely fuck them up. Abraham had no intention of killing his son – in my mind – he had faith you wouldn’t let him go through with it. Right? Anyway, the interpretations are crazy numerous, and no one can be right and no one can be wrong and hasn’t anyone taught this kid not to use the word in its own definition?

Anyway, Heather just came over to pick me up. Amen.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Home Teacher, You Crazy

  1. brian

    well, according to kiekegaard the deal with abraham is that he planned on killing his son but that god would still fulfill his promises to abraham — something about being the father of nations or whatever. so his faith is totally absurd. it’s like when you watch breaking the waves and god’s commanding her to totally break his commandments and go against her own better judgment and she’s like, “ok. you’re god so i guess you know what you’re doing.” but here’s my problem: how do you tell if you’re insane or if god really is talking to you? or is it the same?

  2. Dreyer seems to think it’s the same…which is really cool, I think. Not that I’m striving for insanity, but I think it’s awesome that he’s saying that no one steeped in reality can talk to God. We’re distracted by humans, which is a good thing. I guess…that’s sort of what I get from Joan of Arc and Ordet (but those are the only two I’ve seen).

    I think it’s at the beginning of the Criterion copy, but have you heard about that story of finding the copy of The Passion of Joan of Arc in an insane asylum?

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